


Three's (Not) A Crowd

by Tousled_Sky



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: Crack, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gay, Incorrect Harry Potter, Kissing, M/M, Polyamory, break-ups, men kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 13:22:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9822470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tousled_Sky/pseuds/Tousled_Sky
Summary: "But like hell was Jim going to crawl into Dwight's lap and kiss him with Moes rocking back and forth, sucking his thumb like an infant ."The Halpert's run into trouble trying to seduce Dwight.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a whole new level of sin.  
> Inspired by Season 4 Episode 4, "Money".  
> Please excuse my lack of Harry Potter knowledge. I fell asleep halfway through the first movie and that's the extent I know the world of wizardry to.  
> Enjoy this cracky ship that I'm shipping fairly seriously, loves~

Inspired by Season 4 Episode 4, Money.  
""You're a wizard, Harry." Dumbledore said." Dwight read, the silly voice he gave Dumbledore making Pam giggle in Jim's arms. The sound sent vibrations across Jim's chest as he glared at Moes, who was rocking back and forth at the foot of the bed.

Jim had wanted to come here. So had Pam. He just hadn't expected Moes - the wrench in their plan.

The couple had a master plan, on the way here. Schrute farms - just the two of them, and Dwight. The couple had had a crush on Dwight for a while now, and since he'd been out of a relationship for about a month, they figured this was a good time to make a move.

But like hell was Jim going to crawl into Dwight's lap and kiss him with Moes rocking back and forth, sucking his thumb like an infant (or with the camera crew filming, for that matter, but they had gone to sleep in the America room a little while ago - Jim and Pam had planned for them, not Moes).

Pam took Jim's hand in her own, motioning their interlocked fingers slightly towards Moes and squeezing his hand gently in short bursts, talking to him in Morse Code - _"We should probably not make a move with crazy boy right there"_. Jim squeezed back, the concentration making him ignore the story entirely; _"I agree. Don't worry, we'll have another opportunity."_ Pam just squeezed his hand reassuringly in response, cuddling further back against Jim. He slid an arm around her waist, securing her against him.

"Then Harry Potter said, "Hocus Pocus!" and Voldemort died." Dwight continued reading, oblivious, as the two across from him plotted their next move.

\----------------------------------------------------------------

Jim walked back into his shared room with Pam, the mournful sounds coming down the hallway becoming muffled as he closed the door. Pam stirred and spoke, her voice still thick with sleep.

"So, what was that?" A vengeful spirit calling death upon us?" She joked sleepily. Jim shook his head.

"No, it wasn't." He replied, voice serious, and Pam sobered instantly. "It's Dwight - he was sitting in his room, crying onto the angel figure that Angela left." The bed dipped as Jim sat on it. "There might be more in our way than just Moes, baby. I don't think he's ready yet."

"Well, we'll just have to wait. If he needs time, we'll give him time." Pam replied, taking Jim's hand in hers.

"We have time." Jim answered, bringing her knuckles to his lips. _"I love you"_ , he signaled through their conjoined hands.

 _"Love you too."_ Pam squeezed back.

\----------------------------------------------------------------

Jim walked down the stairs, letting his feet fall heavy, making his approach loud enough that Dwight knew he was coming, but yet not so loud that he drew the attention of the camera crew (who were busy documenting an argument over aliens between Creed and Kevin). Jim reached the flight where Dwight was curled in on himself and sat next to the mournful man, trying to think of what to say.

"Hey, Dwight." Jim stated tentatively.

Dwight let out a shuddery breath as way of a response. Jim opened his mouth to continue just as Dwight let loose a sob.

Jim felt that dread he always got when he had to comfort someone who was crying - he never knew what to say. "Hey, hey, shh." He said, reaching over and awkwardly putting a hand on Dwight's shoulder. Dwight didn't shush. He kept crying.

"I-I-I" Dwight stuttered in hiccups, "I'll never find someone like her again."

"Sure you will." Jim disagreed, patting Dwight's shoulder. Dwight shook his head.

"No, no I won't. No one would want me. She put up with me, but I'm boring, and ugly, and annoying, and no one could love mmmmmuph" Dwight's lament was cut off abruptly as Jim reached over, turned his head by his chin, and kissed him.

Dwight froze up for a horrible few seconds, and Jim was beginning to think he had made a terrible mistake, that Dwight would push him away and get up and pretend it never happened. But then Dwight grabbed Jim by the front of his shirt and pulled him in, kissing him back, and no, this wasn't going to end badly.

Jim may have planned on climbing into Dwight's lap on the farm (sans Moes), but Dwight reversed his expectations by swinging a leg over Jim's waist and straddling him, pressing his chest to Jim's as he tilted their head to deepen the kiss. Jim eagerly returned the kiss, his mind repeating a mantra of _holy shit holy shit holy shit -_

"Holy SHIT!" Came an unbelieving, gleeful cry from the balcony. Jim looked up past Dwight to see the asshole of the camera crew - the one that no one ever wanted to be interviewed by - staring down at them. "Hey Mike, get the cameras in here! You don't wanna miss this!"

"Let's make them miss this." Jim said, a bit urgently. Dwight nodded, kissing him once more, firmly, on the mouth before climbing off of him just as Mike ran in with a camera.

"Aww, no!" cried the dickhead - Joe, wasn't that his name? "Keep at it, you guys!"

"Keep at what?" was the innocent reply.

The sound of shattering glass came from the office behind the two crew members.

"ALIENS ARE REAL!"

"If they aren't doing anything interesting, I'm going back to the Great Alien Debate. This is gonna make one hell of an episode." Mike informed Joe, before turning and hurrying back into the office. Joe groaned and gave the two A Look before going back into the office.

As soon as the cameras were gone, Jim reached over and took Dwight's hand.

 _Feeling better?_ He signed.

Dwight turned to Jim to give him a look, pretending to be pissed. So you do know Morse code.

"Yep." Jim answered cheekily. Dwight rolled his eyes in a good-natured way Jim had never seen before.

"Yeah, I'm feeling better." Dwight answered, leaning over to kiss Jim again; closed-mouthed and soft.

"Thanks to you."


End file.
